Humbled to Trust Again


Humbled to Trust Again

By Danny Kwon

For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts. Isaiah 55:8-9

I was recently humbled “big time” by God.  I guess I am saying big time, because I was being a big jerk with a bad attitude a year ago; but God showed me again that he is so much bigger than me.

Last summer, a few months before our mission trip, our church asked our youth group mission team to transport these hand chime bells to a missionary who works in the rural areas of Hungary and neighboring countries, serving the outcast and marginalized Gypsy communities. Not only that, but our Senior Pastor’s wife–who teaches music, including these hand chime bells–insisted that the youth team who were transporting these chimes also learn how to play them and to play them for the different communities we would visit on our trip.

I wasn’t thrilled about transporting three large cases in the first place. Of HAND CHIMES!  Moreover, cutting into our mission trip preparation time was also making me feel like our team’s time was not being respected, nor my time or leadership.  Moreover, I would also have to schedule a few more meetings to make up for lost mission meeting time.  However, one thing I do know about longevity in youth ministry (21 years at my church) is that when the Senior Pastor’s spouse asks (a.k.a. “tells”) you to do something, it is a not a bad idea to acquiesce to his or her wishes.

Ultimately, our youth group not only transported these hand chimes overseas, but our youth group students, making beautiful music with these instruments, were a hit in Hungary.  Many were blessed and touched by our music.  And the gospel was shared through this ministry. This was all despite my bad attitude and resistance.

Fast forward to this summer, as we prepared for a mission trip to a country in Central Asia, where open proselytizing of the gospel must be done very discreetly. I was thinking about ways to share the gospel.  Bam…God just suddenly reminded me and humbled me.  He was telling me, Remember those hand chime bells you hated and despised? They would be even more perfect on this summer’s mission trip.  

Today, even after all these years in ministry, I am humbled again, to trust in God.  Last summer I was so upset and defiant.  But God knew better.  He was so much wiser.  His ways so much higher. His thoughts so much greater.  I look back today on my defiance and anger a year ago and I really thank God…that somehow he let me submit to him and his ways.  And ultimately, as a long time youth worker, I am reminded again, that it is not MY youth ministry, but it is God’s.  In addition, my ultimate job is to love students, but also to trust in God and his ways.  It’s not always easy.  But God shows me again and again that he is in full control of the youth ministry.  He is the ultimate youth worker.  And I just need to be humble and trust in him…again…and again.